A Mad Dinner Party
by nonamenoproblem
Summary: Alice stumbles upon a dinner party rather than a tea party, in which some of the most famous figures of english literature are in attendence.


A Mad Dinner-Party  
  
THERE was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and three gentlemen were having tea at it: Wordsworth was sitting in the middle, leaning slightly, gaze fixed on the bright daffodil he held in his hands, the other two, Chaucer and Dunne, were leaning over him, resting their elbows on their chairs, and talking over his head.  
  
The table was a large one, and the three of them were clustered together at one end of it. Yet when they saw the small girl approach they all cried out, "No room! No room!"  
  
Girl (indignantly): "There's plenty of room!"  
  
------  
  
She sat down in a large chair at one end of the table.  
  
------  
  
Chaucer: "Care for some wine?"  
  
Girl: "I don't see any wine."  
  
Dunne: "Then you are silly and presumptuous.  
  
Girl: "You are quite rude.  
  
------  
  
Dunne opens his eyes very wide on hearing this  
  
------  
  
Dunne: "Who casts not his eye to the sun when it rises?'  
  
Girl: "Oh! Riddles! I believe I can guess that."  
  
Dunne: "To guess without knowledge, is to see without eyes."  
  
Girl (muttering): "Casts not his eye to the sun when it rises... Why those that have their eyes on the ground! No, that can't be it. Even fascists--  
  
Wordsworth: "No!" Politics are dangerous! I do not see why people cannot be satisfied with God and the beauty of his creations."  
  
Dunne: " Many a wise man and rich fool have been sated by a bit of coin. Flowers and grass do not grow men's happiness from their boughs."  
  
Chaucer: " Money breeds corruption, if there were just one church free of its clutches I would not leave its door."  
  
Wordsworth: "Boughs on grass? For someone who claims intelligence -- have you ever been in a wood?"  
  
Dunne: " I am the Dean of Saint Paul's, and my companionship is enjoy by the intellectual elite, I will not allow your baiting to affect me."  
  
Girl: " You lot are certainly dreary."  
  
Dunne: "I would not expect your infant mind to comprehend the point to our dialogue. You are in the midst of your childhood, and being that the disease you are suffering cannot be cured, we must endure your pointless prattle for a time"  
  
Girl: "That wasn't a very civil thing for you to say."  
  
Wordsworth: "I certainly agree, you must be nourished for your mind to grow."  
  
Girl: " I say, my mind is quite big already."  
  
Wordsworth: "That is why I publish my work; so that people can read it and allow their minds to expand from it's message."  
  
Dunne: " I can see my sermons doing just that; but yours? 'My heart leaps up when I behold a rainbow in the sky.' It is preposterous, men must remain stern, fantastical action is a sign of weakness."  
  
Chaucer: "When in April sweet showers fall  
  
And pierce the drought of March to the the root, and all"  
  
Wordsworth: "What are you talking about?"  
  
Chaucer: "I have learned that a good tale calms men's minds."  
  
Wordsworth: "I have learned that communing with nature will bring you closer to God."  
  
Dunne: "You are both daft."  
  
Dunne: "Is that a bell I hear?"  
  
Rest: "A bell?"  
  
Girl: " For what is it tolling?"  
  
Dunne: "Not what, whom."  
  
Chaucer: "You are making no sense."  
  
Wordsworth: " I am beginning to tire of this, I feel the pull of the wild from all about."  
  
Girl: " Sir, can you please finish your story."  
  
Chaucer: "The--"  
  
Dunne: "Please stop, do not submit us to rhyming rubbish."  
  
Wordsworth (to girl): "Tell me now, have you ever seen a glade untouched by the meddling hand of man?"  
  
Chaucer: "Rubbish!"  
  
Girl: " I've only ever seen the glade behind my home."  
  
Chaucer: "You sir, have the manners of a dumb fly."  
  
Chaucer (to rest): "I fear I must be off. The company has soured and I must reach Southwark by sundown."  
  
Wordsworth: "You must come with me! I know a forest just a walk above Tintern Abby through which you can almost feel the Lord."  
  
Girl: "Oh!"  
  
------  
  
The Girl and Wordsworth left, leaving just Dunne, who quickly left to skulk back to his congregation.  
  
------ 


End file.
